Dreams Unlimited...

2008-08-04T02:02:00.000-07:00

I want to send 'her' a note...on which I'll draw a circle with her name at the center , and when she'll ask me with her cute and confused expression"why??" I would say "because hearts can be broken, but circles, they go on forever"...

2008-06-13T10:48:00.000-07:00

Life might never be the same again...

I made it :-)

2008-05-21T11:52:00.000-07:00

IIM Indore : Admission Offered

IIM Kozhikode: Admission Offered

IIM Lucknow: Admission Offered

IIM Calcutta: Waitlisted

and it feels great!!! I hope the wailist at C also gets converted, though the chances look bleak. Nonetheless, I'm heading to IIM L in case it doesnt.

Yeh hain Quota-istan meri jaan...

2008-04-11T02:41:00.001-07:00

THE ANT & GRASSHOOPER:
The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and laying up supplies for the winter. The Grasshopper thinks the Ant 's a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering Grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the Ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving. NDTV, BBC, CNN show up to provide pictures of the shivering Grasshopper next to a video of the Ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be that this poor Grasshopper is allowed to suffer so? Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the Ant ' s house . Medha Patkar and Tan Shyamoli goes on a fast along with other Grasshoppers demanding that Grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter. Amnesty International and Koffi Annan criticizes the Indian Government for not upholding the fundamental rights of the Grasshopper. The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to the grasshopper (many promising Heaven and Everlasting Peace for prompt support as against the wrath of God for non-compliance) . Opposition MPs stage a walkout. Left parties call for "Bharat Bandh" in West Bengal and Kerala demanding a Judicial Enquiry. CPM in Kerala immediately passes a law preventing Ants from working hard in the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among Ants and Grasshoppers. Lalu Prasad allocates one free coach to Grasshoppers on all Indian Railway Trains, aptly named as the 'Grasshopper Rath'. Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the ' Prevention of Terrorism Against Grasshoppers Act ' [POTAGA], with effect from the beginning of the winter. Arjun Singh makes 'Special Reservation' for Grasshoppers in Educational Institutions & in Government Services. The Ant; fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes; its home is confiscated by the Government and handed over to the Grasshopper in a ceremony covered by NDTV. Arundhati Roy calls it ' A Triumph of Justice '. Lalu calls it 'Socialistic Justice'. CPM calls it the 'Revolutionary Resurgence of the Downtrodden'. Koffi Annan invites the Grasshopper to address the UN General Assembly. Many years later The Ant has since migrated to the US and set up a multi-billion dollar company in Silicon Valley. 100s of Grasshoppers still die of starvation despite reservation somewhere in India .... because of loosing lot of hard working Ants and feeding the Grasshoppers, India is still a developing country!!!

Though hilarious, I can emphathize with the Ant of this story.. Now just me..there would be thousands others is a similar situation because the SC decided to upheld the OBC quota implementation and that too just one day before the IIM comes up with the final offers. I wont make this post longer by discussing how bad (for the country at large) or how good (for the OBC's) or how effective is this new law coz that has been all said soo many times already, but thinking about all of this has answered so many questions for which I didn have commensurate reasons earlier.

Some relevant/interestig links:
IBN Live Chat
The NDTV's version

And it rained that night!!

2008-03-31T06:25:00.000-07:00

It'd been a long long time. Well, atleast it felt like a long time since i'd last seen you and all i had was the one week to make up for the couple of months of seperation!! It wasn't enough. It was never meant to suffice, but it'll do. It'll do for now. Though there was all that load of work, I'm glad we got the time to be with each other..I'm glad that we were together in the real sense of the word, despite all the things that had put us apart all along. It's not like these factors will stop seperating us, but atleast now i know that we can fight and overcome them at will..I'm glad that you came despite all the things that tried to hold you back...I'm glad that you show faith in me and my decisions and stand by me all the time..I'm glad that we are as close as we are..and I'm also glad because there's nothing else that I can do other than being glad when i think of the time we had.

There have been relations, some strong, some weak. Some were meant to fade away and some lasted through it all. Some seem to be falling apart and some have nothing but a thin line of hope that just binds me with the other person.. There are times when I've felt weak and then again there are moments that reinforce me. I had thought that i had seen it all, but it's something entirely different when I am with you. It's something that I do not have the words to explain, but its amazing.

I wanted all of this, but the words never came and all I did was what i thought would best describe this to you.. thinking about this makes me miss you all the more, as if i didn miss u enough already!!

Well...Life wouldn't have been as special as it is, if you wouldn't be around..

Arbit philosophy...

2008-03-19T04:59:00.000-07:00

As i stood there, scared out of my wits, horrified, petrified....somehow no word gives the correct description of what i was feeling then, but i was sure that it was something like 'scared'. I looked down.I was standing tall, high and above all other living creatures, surrounded by nothingness but the wild winds and light.Suddenly i realised how islands feel surrounded all around by water and nowhere to go.It's kind of a scary thing to be all lone and see nothing when u look around yourself.How would it be to live all your life like how i was then?? i was still scared and it was not before now that i realised that my feet were trembling. I tried to control it, for lack of balance was something totally unnecessary at such heights.

Looking down didn feel so nice, so i gave a try and looked in the opposite direction, towards the sky.It was comforting, the same view that i've been used to seeing all my life. It was the same sky i had seen for hours together since my childhood, and it didn look any different at all..the trembling of my legs stopped.The sky seemed to be the same, even though to distance between me and the sky had been reduced so much by the heights i had reached. It felt something like the horizon, no matter how much u chased it it would always elude you, and its somethin that can never be reached.No matter how much you run towards it, the distance never seems to reduce.Suddenly i again realised the height at which i was located and the fear came back. I closed my eyes and tried to think of something else.i tried talkin and tried to comfort myself, but deep down i knew the fall was inevitable.

I looked up once again, looked down and jumped...I know its an absurd story, and seems meaningless but when you think a bit about it it reveals a lot...like...

1) The higher u go in life, the lonelier you will get.Its like a pyramid, the higher you go the lesser the people you find, and if the people at the bottom never existed there would be a pyramid at all. Everyone has a job to do in a society, and positions are always relative.You cant be the king unless there are subjects that let you lead them.
2) There is no upper limit for sucess, and no matter how much you learn and earn, there's always room for more, also i think the more you get the more you want some more of it.
3) Looking above(future) is always a better thing to do than taking a look down (the past). You can make something out of ur future but past is something you cant go back and change a thing.
4) Fear is not a sign of cowardice. It is fear that allows us be brave and dignified in the face of life's situations. Someone who experiences fear -and despite the fear goes on, without allowing it to intimidate him -is giving proof of valiance. But someone who tackles difficult situations without taking the danger into account, is proving only his irresponsibility.
5) One day everything will come to an end, you will have to die, no matter what plans you have, no matter what you want to do, death is inevitable. 'Jumping' is another way of accepting it.

Felt like reposting it after reading this from my old blog :=D

My Interview experiences

2008-02-03T10:09:00.000-08:00

ISB: Rejected
Ross: Rejected
Duke: Rejected
Darden: Wait listed
NUS: Shortlisted for interview - Interviewed - Waitlisted

I was asked about my Job profile...i started talking...felt very weird...there was no response from the other end...in between i thought that the call got disconnected also :-(...somehow completed the answer...but i wasn't comfortable with this way of interview at all... Then i was asked about the challenges i face..i talk...am cut half way and asked some thing about American healthcare..i asnwer...then they ask me about an asian business leader that i admire...i think think...and talk about the founder of Toyota...and talk a couple of lines about lean manufacturing and 5 why analysis which he came up with...thats it...15 min and end of interview... and they waitlist me..I have heard that they waitlist evryone after a certain date coz they are not sure of the numbr of admits they give...
I am not at all happy with the admission process followed here...There have been people who applied after me and have admits before i have been interviewed too!!! Thats very unfair to say the least...

In fact I am disappointed with the way in which all the US B schools handle the admissions process...They do not give any kind of an status update till the very last minute...they hardly ever respond to the e mails in time...the interview calls are chaotically given...the responses always say things like" as we have had unprecedented number of applicants this year.....blah blah..." WTF!!! I dont care how many people have applied...Is it even my headache...But when this XYZ b school takes 180 off $'s as application fees i feel they have an obligation to atleast keep me updated about what is happening with my application...and finally...If a school cannot manage its application process...it doesnt show too well about the kind of managers that it will churn out...Atleast a B school has to manage the application procedure better than other institutions...but as it turns out the converse is true more often than not...

IIM I: GD and Interview (12th Feb @ IIM B)
GD was a case study of a person who wants his company to change its age old strategy to reap benefits in the current scenario, but his boss is a traditional fool who fails to understand his juniors suggestions... I did well...Spoke reasonably well and spoke good amount of sense..
Interview started with thermodynamics and moved to non-conventional sources of energy..then went to my hobbies...IPL vs ICL..What would i do if i were Mukesh Ambani...blah blah... and then to stock markets...

IIM L: GD and Interview (23rd Feb @ B'lore)
Essay writing topic: Men without deeds are like a garden full of weeds (WTF!!!)
I scratch my head and try thinking...I try this exerciss for a minute and realise that its no use and just start putting down on paper whatever comes to my head..I use all examples that come to my mind..Mhmd.Yousif...gramin bank..Al Gore..Climate change...Ratan tata...Nano....and then i start digressing (just like my blogs) into more of a lecture mode (Rajni would know a lot about this :-P) and instruct the teachers, studnts and the entire community at large...make weird analogies between garden and human mind...talk about human value system...and time's up..
GD: We were supposed to discuss about the same topic (man...this is getting too much for me)...Some guy starts off in a tangential manner...and i am too bored already to bring him in the right direction...a minute passes by and people are talking like politicians...i draw up all my patience and composure and enter the GD with an example i had written..it goes on..we all just rephrase the same lines and say them again and again...Moderator realizes that its high time he ends the disucussion and obliges us!
Interview: I enter the room..before i sit down comes the first question..he asks about crammers rule, applications, descartes principle, linear programming, simplex algorithm, primal and dual solutions, graphical solutions...
then after a while the other interviwer asks me about why MBA?, hobbies...T20 and test cricket comparisons...blah blah..why Cognizant pays soo less to people?? blah blah...End of the IIM L torture.. :P

IIM K: 5th March @ IIM B
GD: About Tiger Preservation and related stuff.the group fantastically starts talking about terrorism within 5 mins of discussion!! :P Somehow normalcy returns and we are back on track...I made some 5-6 points, which were decently taken by the group
Interview: Starts with basketball...how does it move...explanation about Newtons laws with lots of cross questioning..how does a human eye see a basketball...why cant i see an electron...how can i locate an electron...what is the size and mass of an electron...who discvovered it...heisenburgs uncertainity principle... (by this time i feel i'd be obliged if they just ask me to leave)...then the other guy takes over...asks me how does a merchant banker determine the price band of an IPO..I try explaining for 5 mins...they listen and say its all wrong..and merchant bankers never use such methods..then i am asked about beta coefficients of some stocks and how are they calculated...
The worst interview ever!!!Easily...I feel i have just wasted money by attending this interview

IIM C: 14th March in B'lore
GD: It is a case study about some organization facing a bill of reservation in a state where it has major operations...What should it do...
I was all charged up after my dismal performance in my last GD/PI and this saw me totally dominate the initial parts of the GD..I also came in again towards the end with some options :-)
Now after the GD i feel it would have been good if the GD had a higher weightage!! :-P

Interview: Started with Salsa...I told about why i learnt salsa..the origin of the dance and all the things i knew about it...Then they ask me" what city would i choose if my frnd wants to invest in starting an IT company in India and why?"..I answer this and give my reasons...they cross question on a couple more criteria...i answer...Then..about Cricket...Recent success of Praveen Kumar...i discuss him as a bowler and the way he got his wickets...Then they ask me about the books i read...I say Ayn Rand and Malcom Gladwell...one interviewer says good and asks me to read The Kite Runner..i am happy..just then the other one says...thats all u read?..and in a responce...i blurt out Paulo Coelho..and a round of firing about the themes and underlying reasons about his novels..i wasnt abl to answer a couple here... Then i was asked about a reason other than the Sub Prime Crisis that is affecting the global econmy...answer this..with some cross questioning and i cant answer a couple of questions here too...
Thats it...End of Interview...

Well...I hope that i make it to some good B school...

Ohh...Btw i think i have been shortlisted for IIM Shillong GD/PI also :-) I dunno how keen i am on this but it never hurts to have another option in hand...

More laters...

From - Your friendly neighbourhood B-school aspirant :-)

Ab na jaa...

2008-01-28T02:15:00.000-08:00

Aankhen band kar loo jo mein, dekhu bas tumhe
khwabo mein hi keh sakta hoon, apna tumhe
rehne de mera yeh vehm pe hi yakeen
naa ja abhi

tumhi se hain meri neende, naa bhi ho to kya
tumhi se hain meri baatein, naa bhi ho to kya
kehne do taaro ko kahani ankahi
na jaa abhi

maathe pe pyar ki boonde, bikhre se kai sawal
aankhon mein kitne mausam, pal mein beete kitne saal
rehne de jahan bhi le jaaye zindagi
na jaa abhi

pyar ki yeh raat hain
ab na jaa
chotti si ek baat hain
ab na jaa
pal do pal ka saath hain
ab na jaa
jadoo si yeh raat hain
ab na jaa

I miss you more than ever, even if i dont say it out...

Ramblings...

2008-01-03T22:57:00.000-08:00

If not now, when?
If not this, what?

There seems to be nothing positive from the MBA front (till now) and I have almost given up on pursuing an MBA this year. If my current profile doesn't get me in, What will?? Any answers anyone...I know i shouldn't give up till the time i get a ding from all the universiies, but if they were interesed in me, I would have got an interview call atleast by now. I have everything crossed for this..

Sometimes i feel that i should not approach an MBA admission process with an attitude to escape my current job and role. Not that i can help it much.. but i remember someone (my old supervisor to be precise) giving me the advice of trying to love what i was doing..Well, i tried..i really put in a lot of effort and learnt a lot of things in my current project. There were times when it all seemed to be artificial and unsatisfactory, but I stuck on to it and tried to get all the positives that i could from it. However, things haven't changed much..I feel stagnated and frustrated for wasting myself over something that doesnt mean much to me..

Yesterday, in a dose of frustration I uploaded my resume to all the possible job sites that I was aware of. I dont know if shifting my job is the solution to this...I hope that there would be some firm that shows interest in me and hires me as a business analyst. Atleast I would make a start in a career that means something more to me and that teaches me something that would be helpful in the longer run..

Nontheless, I have decided to make some better utilization of the time in hand now. I suddenly realised that I have been wasting away a lot of free time of late.There are many things in my to-do list
1. Get back to dance classes
2. Get more knowledge on stocks & markets
3. Get back in shape..need to pump some iron
4. Do some certification (not even closely related to java :-P)
5. Learn something new - music/ language

Curretly Reading: The World is Flat..

ISB results OUT; I'm not IN

2007-12-13T09:35:00.000-08:00

As i try to move out of the place and life where i do not belong much, times are getting more challenging and more irritating. I tried to enjoy what i was doing, but was i doing something that meant anything to me?? Naaah. writing code and fixing bugs never meant more than passing some lab exam to me in college and doesn't mean even that now..though i am grateful that it gets me the $ to support myself. I have always wanted to do big things. I know that one needs to start from the scratch to learn those important lessons of life that aren't taught elsewhere, experience failures to come back stronger at the challenges and show courage even if life seems to be a downward spiral. But.. I am not heading anywhere,period. I need to do something, not that i have not taken and steps and am just cribbing. People who know me well know the efforts that I have put in over the last 3-4 months to lift my career off to a different trajectory. I guess i have some more time to spend. It can get agonizing and depressing sometimes, like now.

Yesterday, I recieved the first admission decision of this season from ISB. It wasn't the Congratulations message, as expected. I knew that since the day I had given the interview itself. I needed to have a stellar interview to make it through, but it turned out just mundane. I am pretty overwhelmed looking at the profiles of the people who made it though. I think some of them are soo successful already that an MBA wouldn't be much of a value addition for them. On the contrary, it might turn out to be 2 yrs of lost opportunity in their field of work. Anyways, I just hope that I get atleast one good news from the 5 applications that I have sent. 1 down and out, 4 more to go.

I am thinking: What am i supposed to do when a burning desire and talent dont seem to be taking me anywhere?

i want more people like you around

2007-11-07T07:29:00.000-08:00

And i ran down the stairs, out into the concrete floor that had some water, which the rains had left behind...hurried to the assembly point, just in time to catch the bus..i was out of my breath, but i just about managed to get to a seat..gave a glance and found a gal busy over the phone.. I started a conversation and we became acquaintances. She was on the lookout for a house to stay, and I kindof helped her look for one... It should have ended with that, but life had different plans, and i am glad it did :-)

She moved to a house nearby to mine and we started travelling in the same bus everyday..and we became friends. The gal who seemed sweet and a nice person started to show her true colors. I started to bug her with my PJ's and my questions, which most of the time have no answers :P

Ok, this gal..or rather lady..could easily be the cutest gal from my office or even Cognizant (she spoilt the snaps that i tried to take from my mobile, which i wanted to post here :-( ) and even the most sweetest..She would put u into trouble and rescue from it herself...She would search for the most attractive thing from the worst kind of a person too..She would help her roommates with their make up when they go to meet their boyfriends..She would invite me for a cup of coffee and finish everything by the time i reach her place..She cant stand my talk and neither can she bear my silence..She would spend her entire saturdays with the blind, when she could have so easily gone to catch the latest flick, like others..She has the most amazing of friends, who unfortunately (for me and for her too) are out of India..She has this habit of pinching the people she likes, and both my triceps are red and blue..She reminds me of Anuradha..Anu would have looked very much like her at her age..it makes me feel bad sometimes, but it makes me feel really nice most of the other times..but i'm glad it makes me feel something in this otherwise dead city, which has only taught me to be insensitive and disinterested..
This post is just a thanks with a hug to you..

I'm humming: Tera mera rishta purana (Aawarapan)

I'm thinking about: Rajni Sharma >:D<..gal, i miss u.. y are u soo busy??

I'm looking forward to: My Hyderabad trip.. i hope i get to meet the people i want to and spend considerably enough time with them!!

Happy Diwali to everyone!!! Thats all for now, more laters..Chao..

Will write something about my B'lore visit sometime soon...

Random thoughts....

2007-10-08T12:35:00.000-07:00

The world is all obsessed with results..Right from the kid next door who wants all A's to be in his final report to the enterprenaur who wants a 30% rise in the profitability every quarter. Everyone has a skewed perception about the achievements of the people or maybe of the successful people!!??

Ok, i havent seen much of life and i havent had that big success yet...but i dont need enlightenment to be aware of this. I just see what others prefer to ignore. I just realise the value of the things that others take for granted...

When was the last time you enjoyed music?? and when was the last time you enjoyed that moment of silence between the two beats/sounds of your fav song?? You get soo obsessed with the music, that u take that silence for granted. It is this silence that seperates music from the noise. It is just like the spaces between the words. Imagine reading a paragraph having no spaces!!! The spaces and silence are important..not just in the music and in a language, but in everyone's life too...

When was the last time you really did what you truly wanted??
When was the last time you did something about the thing that matters to you the most?? Half of the people, if not more wouldn't even know what matters the most to them. I was one of those who has a misconception about the thngs that mattered the most to me..It made me pay a huge price, but i evolved to be a better person from this. I was fortunate..

When was the last time you made a difference in someone else's life??
When was the last time you went against what is supposed to be the conventional way of doing things??
When was the last time you realised that you are getting lost and heading nowhere in the daily routine of your life??
When was the last time you loved someone and expected nothing in return??
When was the last time you failed and enjoyed it for a change??
What are you going to do with your life??

I am an ordinary mortal too...who runs through my life, takes the decisions that seem the most practical way out of situations, has a good time whenever possible..gives a second look to the hot chick next door, never misses a chance to party and dance till i drop dead...
but there's more to life..mine and yours...I have decided to change a few things..When will you make your move???

somebody's me

2007-10-06T20:28:00.000-07:00

Somebody wants you,
Somebody needs you.
Somebody dreams about you every single night.
Somebody cant breathe, without you it's lonely.
Somebody hopes that one day you will see,
that somebody's me. >:D<

A new blog...Yes, yet again!!!

2007-10-06T06:40:00.000-07:00

This might not be the time to create a new blog, coz i havent been able to be regular at my old blog.. this might not be even the time to write a post here, coz i have soo many other impending tasks to be done..But WTF!!! I need some time off the things that i do everyday..i need some time to be with myself and think about the right things..The other day i was talking with Subbu and he just went on saying the things that were echoing inside me for long, but i just avoided. But, it was true...and i can emphatize with him, coz i know how it feels to be avoided by so many people all at once...that too for such a long duration..But u dont fikar Subbu...i will call u up once in a blue moon to light up ur mood and day...

Ok, so i have given the GMAT...cracked it too...only to realise that it isnt all that important!!! While preparing for the GMAT, it seemed to be the most important aspect of the application package...but now i realise that thought a less than average GMAT scsore is a disadvantage a very good GMAT score isnt that big an advantage (esp. at the top tier schools) and in most likelihood, it just gets discounted and the Adcoms look at the other aspects of your profile..Only had i known this earlier...i wouldn have spent days together struggling to imporve my verbal score from 36 to 41...

But the application process is pretty interesting..It has made a realise a lot of things about myself..Earlier, i was just a profile with lots of data..with so many facts..and now suddenly i feel that what's and when's of my life have been complimented with the why's and how's...I realise that there is a very strong motivation inside me that drives me to achieve more that what i would otherwise. It makes me stay up that one hour longer, try that one more time and walk that one mile more that what is required. And it makes me glad :-)

Of course, there is a flip side to the application process also...there are these daunting questions which come and haunt you.. and everytime you think u have a good responce ready...just penning it down makes u feel ridiculous about urself...

Other things happening in life:

Trip to Munnar and Tekkady - aWeSoMe :-) I have this liking for hilly areas, even with the acrophobia... I'm full of ironies and confilcting emotions...
Plan to go down to Hyderabad for the festival... Noone might meet me...noone might even know that i am in town...but mom and dad will make the trip worthwhile.. I dunno since when i have become this family loving kind of a person..
Darden essays have to be rewritten...Oye Moti...where r u babes???I need ur suggestions and help in some of these..
Lost my ATM debt card :-( This caused a pandamonium, which seems funny now...

Current mood: Cheerful

Song that i'm hummin: Dard mein bhi yeh lab muskura jate hain..... (Train)

Thats it for now...Will write more laters, as and when life starts rolling...