Aankhen band kar loo jo mein, dekhu bas tumhe
khwabo mein hi keh sakta hoon, apna tumhe
rehne de mera yeh vehm pe hi yakeen
naa ja abhi
tumhi se hain meri neende, naa bhi ho to kya
tumhi se hain meri baatein, naa bhi ho to kya
kehne do taaro ko kahani ankahi
na jaa abhi
maathe pe pyar ki boonde, bikhre se kai sawal
aankhon mein kitne mausam, pal mein beete kitne saal
rehne de jahan bhi le jaaye zindagi
na jaa abhi
pyar ki yeh raat hain
ab na jaa
chotti si ek baat hain
ab na jaa
pal do pal ka saath hain
ab na jaa
jadoo si yeh raat hain
ab na jaa
I miss you more than ever, even if i dont say it out...
January 28, 2008
January 3, 2008
Ramblings...
If not now, when?
If not this, what?
There seems to be nothing positive from the MBA front (till now) and I have almost given up on pursuing an MBA this year. If my current profile doesn't get me in, What will?? Any answers anyone...I know i shouldn't give up till the time i get a ding from all the universiies, but if they were interesed in me, I would have got an interview call atleast by now. I have everything crossed for this..
Sometimes i feel that i should not approach an MBA admission process with an attitude to escape my current job and role. Not that i can help it much.. but i remember someone (my old supervisor to be precise) giving me the advice of trying to love what i was doing..Well, i tried..i really put in a lot of effort and learnt a lot of things in my current project. There were times when it all seemed to be artificial and unsatisfactory, but I stuck on to it and tried to get all the positives that i could from it. However, things haven't changed much..I feel stagnated and frustrated for wasting myself over something that doesnt mean much to me..
Yesterday, in a dose of frustration I uploaded my resume to all the possible job sites that I was aware of. I dont know if shifting my job is the solution to this...I hope that there would be some firm that shows interest in me and hires me as a business analyst. Atleast I would make a start in a career that means something more to me and that teaches me something that would be helpful in the longer run..
Nontheless, I have decided to make some better utilization of the time in hand now. I suddenly realised that I have been wasting away a lot of free time of late.There are many things in my to-do list
1. Get back to dance classes
2. Get more knowledge on stocks & markets
3. Get back in shape..need to pump some iron
4. Do some certification (not even closely related to java :-P)
5. Learn something new - music/ language
Curretly Reading: The World is Flat..
If not this, what?
There seems to be nothing positive from the MBA front (till now) and I have almost given up on pursuing an MBA this year. If my current profile doesn't get me in, What will?? Any answers anyone...I know i shouldn't give up till the time i get a ding from all the universiies, but if they were interesed in me, I would have got an interview call atleast by now. I have everything crossed for this..
Sometimes i feel that i should not approach an MBA admission process with an attitude to escape my current job and role. Not that i can help it much.. but i remember someone (my old supervisor to be precise) giving me the advice of trying to love what i was doing..Well, i tried..i really put in a lot of effort and learnt a lot of things in my current project. There were times when it all seemed to be artificial and unsatisfactory, but I stuck on to it and tried to get all the positives that i could from it. However, things haven't changed much..I feel stagnated and frustrated for wasting myself over something that doesnt mean much to me..
Yesterday, in a dose of frustration I uploaded my resume to all the possible job sites that I was aware of. I dont know if shifting my job is the solution to this...I hope that there would be some firm that shows interest in me and hires me as a business analyst. Atleast I would make a start in a career that means something more to me and that teaches me something that would be helpful in the longer run..
Nontheless, I have decided to make some better utilization of the time in hand now. I suddenly realised that I have been wasting away a lot of free time of late.There are many things in my to-do list
1. Get back to dance classes
2. Get more knowledge on stocks & markets
3. Get back in shape..need to pump some iron
4. Do some certification (not even closely related to java :-P)
5. Learn something new - music/ language
Curretly Reading: The World is Flat..
December 13, 2007
ISB results OUT; I'm not IN
As i try to move out of the place and life where i do not belong much, times are getting more challenging and more irritating. I tried to enjoy what i was doing, but was i doing something that meant anything to me?? Naaah. writing code and fixing bugs never meant more than passing some lab exam to me in college and doesn't mean even that now..though i am grateful that it gets me the $ to support myself. I have always wanted to do big things. I know that one needs to start from the scratch to learn those important lessons of life that aren't taught elsewhere, experience failures to come back stronger at the challenges and show courage even if life seems to be a downward spiral. But.. I am not heading anywhere,period. I need to do something, not that i have not taken and steps and am just cribbing. People who know me well know the efforts that I have put in over the last 3-4 months to lift my career off to a different trajectory. I guess i have some more time to spend. It can get agonizing and depressing sometimes, like now.
Yesterday, I recieved the first admission decision of this season from ISB. It wasn't the Congratulations message, as expected. I knew that since the day I had given the interview itself. I needed to have a stellar interview to make it through, but it turned out just mundane. I am pretty overwhelmed looking at the profiles of the people who made it though. I think some of them are soo successful already that an MBA wouldn't be much of a value addition for them. On the contrary, it might turn out to be 2 yrs of lost opportunity in their field of work. Anyways, I just hope that I get atleast one good news from the 5 applications that I have sent. 1 down and out, 4 more to go.
I am thinking: What am i supposed to do when a burning desire and talent dont seem to be taking me anywhere?
Yesterday, I recieved the first admission decision of this season from ISB. It wasn't the Congratulations message, as expected. I knew that since the day I had given the interview itself. I needed to have a stellar interview to make it through, but it turned out just mundane. I am pretty overwhelmed looking at the profiles of the people who made it though. I think some of them are soo successful already that an MBA wouldn't be much of a value addition for them. On the contrary, it might turn out to be 2 yrs of lost opportunity in their field of work. Anyways, I just hope that I get atleast one good news from the 5 applications that I have sent. 1 down and out, 4 more to go.
I am thinking: What am i supposed to do when a burning desire and talent dont seem to be taking me anywhere?
November 7, 2007
i want more people like you around
And i ran down the stairs, out into the concrete floor that had some water, which the rains had left behind...hurried to the assembly point, just in time to catch the bus..i was out of my breath, but i just about managed to get to a seat..gave a glance and found a gal busy over the phone.. I started a conversation and we became acquaintances. She was on the lookout for a house to stay, and I kindof helped her look for one... It should have ended with that, but life had different plans, and i am glad it did :-)
She moved to a house nearby to mine and we started travelling in the same bus everyday..and we became friends. The gal who seemed sweet and a nice person started to show her true colors. I started to bug her with my PJ's and my questions, which most of the time have no answers :P
Ok, this gal..or rather lady..could easily be the cutest gal from my office or even Cognizant (she spoilt the snaps that i tried to take from my mobile, which i wanted to post here :-( ) and even the most sweetest..She would put u into trouble and rescue from it herself...She would search for the most attractive thing from the worst kind of a person too..She would help her roommates with their make up when they go to meet their boyfriends..She would invite me for a cup of coffee and finish everything by the time i reach her place..She cant stand my talk and neither can she bear my silence..She would spend her entire saturdays with the blind, when she could have so easily gone to catch the latest flick, like others..She has the most amazing of friends, who unfortunately (for me and for her too) are out of India..She has this habit of pinching the people she likes, and both my triceps are red and blue..She reminds me of Anuradha..Anu would have looked very much like her at her age..it makes me feel bad sometimes, but it makes me feel really nice most of the other times..but i'm glad it makes me feel something in this otherwise dead city, which has only taught me to be insensitive and disinterested..
This post is just a thanks with a hug to you..
I'm humming: Tera mera rishta purana (Aawarapan)
I'm thinking about: Rajni Sharma >:D<..gal, i miss u.. y are u soo busy??
I'm looking forward to: My Hyderabad trip.. i hope i get to meet the people i want to and spend considerably enough time with them!!
Happy Diwali to everyone!!! Thats all for now, more laters..Chao..
Will write something about my B'lore visit sometime soon...
She moved to a house nearby to mine and we started travelling in the same bus everyday..and we became friends. The gal who seemed sweet and a nice person started to show her true colors. I started to bug her with my PJ's and my questions, which most of the time have no answers :P
Ok, this gal..or rather lady..could easily be the cutest gal from my office or even Cognizant (she spoilt the snaps that i tried to take from my mobile, which i wanted to post here :-( ) and even the most sweetest..She would put u into trouble and rescue from it herself...She would search for the most attractive thing from the worst kind of a person too..She would help her roommates with their make up when they go to meet their boyfriends..She would invite me for a cup of coffee and finish everything by the time i reach her place..She cant stand my talk and neither can she bear my silence..She would spend her entire saturdays with the blind, when she could have so easily gone to catch the latest flick, like others..She has the most amazing of friends, who unfortunately (for me and for her too) are out of India..She has this habit of pinching the people she likes, and both my triceps are red and blue..She reminds me of Anuradha..Anu would have looked very much like her at her age..it makes me feel bad sometimes, but it makes me feel really nice most of the other times..but i'm glad it makes me feel something in this otherwise dead city, which has only taught me to be insensitive and disinterested..
This post is just a thanks with a hug to you..
I'm humming: Tera mera rishta purana (Aawarapan)
I'm thinking about: Rajni Sharma >:D<..gal, i miss u.. y are u soo busy??
I'm looking forward to: My Hyderabad trip.. i hope i get to meet the people i want to and spend considerably enough time with them!!
Happy Diwali to everyone!!! Thats all for now, more laters..Chao..
Will write something about my B'lore visit sometime soon...
October 8, 2007
Random thoughts....
The world is all obsessed with results..Right from the kid next door who wants all A's to be in his final report to the enterprenaur who wants a 30% rise in the profitability every quarter. Everyone has a skewed perception about the achievements of the people or maybe of the successful people!!??
Ok, i havent seen much of life and i havent had that big success yet...but i dont need enlightenment to be aware of this. I just see what others prefer to ignore. I just realise the value of the things that others take for granted...
When was the last time you enjoyed music?? and when was the last time you enjoyed that moment of silence between the two beats/sounds of your fav song?? You get soo obsessed with the music, that u take that silence for granted. It is this silence that seperates music from the noise. It is just like the spaces between the words. Imagine reading a paragraph having no spaces!!! The spaces and silence are important..not just in the music and in a language, but in everyone's life too...
When was the last time you really did what you truly wanted??
When was the last time you did something about the thing that matters to you the most?? Half of the people, if not more wouldn't even know what matters the most to them. I was one of those who has a misconception about the thngs that mattered the most to me..It made me pay a huge price, but i evolved to be a better person from this. I was fortunate..
When was the last time you made a difference in someone else's life??
When was the last time you went against what is supposed to be the conventional way of doing things??
When was the last time you realised that you are getting lost and heading nowhere in the daily routine of your life??
When was the last time you loved someone and expected nothing in return??
When was the last time you failed and enjoyed it for a change??
What are you going to do with your life??
I am an ordinary mortal too...who runs through my life, takes the decisions that seem the most practical way out of situations, has a good time whenever possible..gives a second look to the hot chick next door, never misses a chance to party and dance till i drop dead...
but there's more to life..mine and yours...I have decided to change a few things..When will you make your move???
Ok, i havent seen much of life and i havent had that big success yet...but i dont need enlightenment to be aware of this. I just see what others prefer to ignore. I just realise the value of the things that others take for granted...
When was the last time you enjoyed music?? and when was the last time you enjoyed that moment of silence between the two beats/sounds of your fav song?? You get soo obsessed with the music, that u take that silence for granted. It is this silence that seperates music from the noise. It is just like the spaces between the words. Imagine reading a paragraph having no spaces!!! The spaces and silence are important..not just in the music and in a language, but in everyone's life too...
When was the last time you really did what you truly wanted??
When was the last time you did something about the thing that matters to you the most?? Half of the people, if not more wouldn't even know what matters the most to them. I was one of those who has a misconception about the thngs that mattered the most to me..It made me pay a huge price, but i evolved to be a better person from this. I was fortunate..
When was the last time you made a difference in someone else's life??
When was the last time you went against what is supposed to be the conventional way of doing things??
When was the last time you realised that you are getting lost and heading nowhere in the daily routine of your life??
When was the last time you loved someone and expected nothing in return??
When was the last time you failed and enjoyed it for a change??
What are you going to do with your life??
I am an ordinary mortal too...who runs through my life, takes the decisions that seem the most practical way out of situations, has a good time whenever possible..gives a second look to the hot chick next door, never misses a chance to party and dance till i drop dead...
but there's more to life..mine and yours...I have decided to change a few things..When will you make your move???
October 6, 2007
somebody's me
Somebody wants you,
Somebody needs you.
Somebody dreams about you every single night.
Somebody cant breathe, without you it's lonely.
Somebody hopes that one day you will see,
that somebody's me. >:D<
Somebody needs you.
Somebody dreams about you every single night.
Somebody cant breathe, without you it's lonely.
Somebody hopes that one day you will see,
that somebody's me. >:D<
A new blog...Yes, yet again!!!
This might not be the time to create a new blog, coz i havent been able to be regular at my old blog.. this might not be even the time to write a post here, coz i have soo many other impending tasks to be done..But WTF!!! I need some time off the things that i do everyday..i need some time to be with myself and think about the right things..The other day i was talking with Subbu and he just went on saying the things that were echoing inside me for long, but i just avoided. But, it was true...and i can emphatize with him, coz i know how it feels to be avoided by so many people all at once...that too for such a long duration..But u dont fikar Subbu...i will call u up once in a blue moon to light up ur mood and day...
Ok, so i have given the GMAT...cracked it too...only to realise that it isnt all that important!!! While preparing for the GMAT, it seemed to be the most important aspect of the application package...but now i realise that thought a less than average GMAT scsore is a disadvantage a very good GMAT score isnt that big an advantage (esp. at the top tier schools) and in most likelihood, it just gets discounted and the Adcoms look at the other aspects of your profile..Only had i known this earlier...i wouldn have spent days together struggling to imporve my verbal score from 36 to 41...
But the application process is pretty interesting..It has made a realise a lot of things about myself..Earlier, i was just a profile with lots of data..with so many facts..and now suddenly i feel that what's and when's of my life have been complimented with the why's and how's...I realise that there is a very strong motivation inside me that drives me to achieve more that what i would otherwise. It makes me stay up that one hour longer, try that one more time and walk that one mile more that what is required. And it makes me glad :-)
Of course, there is a flip side to the application process also...there are these daunting questions which come and haunt you.. and everytime you think u have a good responce ready...just penning it down makes u feel ridiculous about urself...
Other things happening in life:
Ok, so i have given the GMAT...cracked it too...only to realise that it isnt all that important!!! While preparing for the GMAT, it seemed to be the most important aspect of the application package...but now i realise that thought a less than average GMAT scsore is a disadvantage a very good GMAT score isnt that big an advantage (esp. at the top tier schools) and in most likelihood, it just gets discounted and the Adcoms look at the other aspects of your profile..Only had i known this earlier...i wouldn have spent days together struggling to imporve my verbal score from 36 to 41...
But the application process is pretty interesting..It has made a realise a lot of things about myself..Earlier, i was just a profile with lots of data..with so many facts..and now suddenly i feel that what's and when's of my life have been complimented with the why's and how's...I realise that there is a very strong motivation inside me that drives me to achieve more that what i would otherwise. It makes me stay up that one hour longer, try that one more time and walk that one mile more that what is required. And it makes me glad :-)
Of course, there is a flip side to the application process also...there are these daunting questions which come and haunt you.. and everytime you think u have a good responce ready...just penning it down makes u feel ridiculous about urself...
Other things happening in life:
- Trip to Munnar and Tekkady - aWeSoMe :-) I have this liking for hilly areas, even with the acrophobia... I'm full of ironies and confilcting emotions...
- Plan to go down to Hyderabad for the festival... Noone might meet me...noone might even know that i am in town...but mom and dad will make the trip worthwhile.. I dunno since when i have become this family loving kind of a person..
- Darden essays have to be rewritten...Oye Moti...where r u babes???I need ur suggestions and help in some of these..
- Lost my ATM debt card :-( This caused a pandamonium, which seems funny now...
Current mood: Cheerful
Song that i'm hummin: Dard mein bhi yeh lab muskura jate hain..... (Train)
Thats it for now...Will write more laters, as and when life starts rolling...
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